Financial Crisis Over

Though the market had its biggest day ever yesterday, that is not the reason it is over. The reason the crisis is over is because today I am announcing the ALMY PLAN or the ALMY BAILOUT. It is a much more viable and certainly less expensive plan than that picture of socialism that came from the dunderheads in Congress.

Here is my plan...
If we all respond to all the spam email solicitations from overseas then we will solve America's financial crisis because we can pay off mortgages and other debt and still have millions to give away. We could even feed the poor and pay for all the programs proposed bu McCain and Obama!! Just think of it, if we just responded to the Saudi widow whose oil Sheik husband died and ordered her to give the money to us we would be rolling in it. Or, if we just would accept the money by handing over our social security number to the man representing the Tanzanian government whose government needs people to handle money for them we would have great liquidity in the market. Or, if we could hide the money of Barrister Roger McClellan from the UK whose great grandfather left him an inheritance with the stipulation that no bank in Great Britain could ever be the holder of the saving- man our financial crisis would be solved.

I get like ten of these things a week. If every American with an email address would just respond and do the American duty (kind of like paying taxes like Joe Biden says) then the crisis would be over and look at all the people overseas we would help.

Seriously though, who responds to these things? Someone must, that is why they keep sending them. I would love to respond with a link for them to my social security number and credit card number that actually opens up a big fat virus on their sorry butts and disables their email. I am trying to figure out though if such action would be against Jesus' teaching to turn the other cheek. Or perhaps such action would be more akin to overturning the tables of the money changers.

Vote for my plan in '08!